My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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