just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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