i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
im holly from the hills drunk
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
