I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
