the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize