Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I just want to make out with him forever
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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