hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Come back. Shots need mouths.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
