Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
