i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
