There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
