Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
