so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
