i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
