OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize