Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
