Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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