Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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