don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
