your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize