garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
