You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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