My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize