The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
