pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
