I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
