Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
