Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
