I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
