hotel room ftw
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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