just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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