I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
