i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
