So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
