Me. At least after what I've been through.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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