I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
