hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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