the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
third nipple confirmed
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
