i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
