I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
