I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
