Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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