i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
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