So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
