Its about making memories worth repressing
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
