worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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