5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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