Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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