Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
