he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
