is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
