Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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