Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize