i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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