Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
did i just pee glitter
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
