IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
