You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
