If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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