So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
high people should be assigned attendants
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
