it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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