I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
