just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
